Creating a Culture of Consent

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Read our volunteer, Frankie’s, take on the importance of consent below.

What is consent? Consent, in any situation, is a strong, enthusiastic YES, when NO is a viable option. Consent is mandatory during any sexual encounter with anyone, but consent is also necessary in every situation, not just sexual encounters. We must give and get consent in social environments, too. Just as you should not engage sexually with someone without consent, you should not hug someone, feed someone, make them tea, or do anything that they do not explicitly want you to do. While consent is usually discussed in terms of sexual experiences, it should be a key part of our culture as a whole.

One of our favorite videos to get the point across. Seen it?

The phrase “rape culture” is pervasive, and describes the reality of sexual violence and harassment, across a broad spectrum, experienced by millions every day. Working counter to this is “consent culture,” an ideal to work toward. It normalizes and popularizes consent, not limited to sexuality. Consent can be asked for and given every day in dozens of ways, through checking in, being verbally direct, offering options, and respecting people’s choices. Too often it is also often in dozens of ways as well. Attitudes of entitlement can often lead to people not consistently asking for consent, which can result in other people losing their autonomy and power. If we are entitled, we are less like to consider the needs, wellbeing, and desires of others. An entitled world becomes selfish and self-serving, not a community in which anyone wants to live.

Building a culture of consent can, and should, begin at a very young age. Some middle and high schools teach consent as a program or as part of a health class. However, high school is often a late start to introducing ideals about consent. By the time children have become young adults, they’ve been exposed to toxic norms about relationships, interacting with others, and entitlement for years. Teaching teenagers about consent is great, but earlier education has the ability to focus less on undoing unhealthy behaviors and more on raising youth on healthy norms from the start.

Consent is a lesson to teach early and often. It is also necessary to model consent as adults. When parents, relatives, family friends, and authority figures normalize consent, kids are more likely to be comfortable discussing consent and understanding what is meant by consent and consent culture. They can feel more confident holding their own personal boundaries, and more conscious about asking others for their preferences. Informed children become informed adults, and informed adults become informed role models, parents, mentors, and more. This is how we grow consent culture and eliminate ignorance.

Curious for more information? Here are additional resources:

Primer on consent from RAINN

How to talk to children about consent

Video and discussion questions to help talk to kids about consent

How Misconceptions About False Reporting Hurt Sexual Assault Survivors

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Content warning: This blog includes descriptions of sexual assault reports.

Sexual assault cases are extremely difficult to investigate and prosecute in our existing criminal justice system. Reporting a sexual assault takes incredible courage and resilience. Despite this, sexual assault survivors are often the only victims of crimes who are treated as suspects. People who report sexual violence can face professional and personal repercussions, re-traumatization, disbelief, rejection, financial burdens, and physical, emotional, and mental discomfort. Lack of training in law enforcement often leads to misconceptions about crimes involving sexual assault and trauma, often leading to doubts about survivors’ stories. Many people both within and outside criminal justice fields assume that false reports are a regular occurrence.

We’ll attempt to break down those incorrect assumptions by discussing research around false reporting, and using SARC’s 40+ years of experience working with sexual assault survivors.

How many reports are false?

Multiple studies show that false reporting is very uncommon, and some demonstrate it may be even less common than older research suggests. The following information is compiled in an article by Kim Lonsway (2010). The Home Office in the United Kingdom found that only 4% of sexual assaults reported to law enforcement are suspected or found to be false. Research conducted in the United States and Europe show similar rates, between 2% and 6%. Recent U.S. studies by Dr. David Lisak support a false reporting rate of 2%, similar to findings by the Uniform Crime Report (UCR) done by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Even still, numbers from research cannot be taken at face value, as some studies use vague definitions for what constitutes a “false report.” The FBI’s UCR report has historically been one of the most common cited reference points for false reporting data in the United States, despite the flaws in the way it counts false reports.

“Unfounded,” “baseless,” “false” – What’s the difference?

The data in the UCR was provided by law enforcement agencies across the country. The report marks cases as ‘cleared’ in three ways: by arrest, by exception, and as unfounded. “Unfounded” sexual assault cases are not always the same as false reports. An “unfounded” case can be one of two things: a false report, or a baseless report. A “baseless” report is presumed truthful, but does not have all of the factors to charge as a crime. A “false” report is one that should be proved to be untrue through concrete evidence, not simply because of doubt, suspicion, or uncertainty from law enforcement or anyone else.

Baseless reports can indicate that investigators determined there was not enough evidence to pursue an investigation. For example, lack of forensic evidence, or difficulty concretely proving that an act was non-consensual. A baseless report can also indicate that the reported act of sexual violence did not meet the criteria for a criminal charge, such as having an element of “force.”

Why is this frustrating? In our experience working with survivors, most sexual assaults do not leave physical injuries, as coercion and manipulation are some of the most common tactics that offenders use, in lieu of overt force. Offenders often claim that the assault was a consensual sexual encounter, a claim difficult to disprove without concrete evidence. These characteristics of sexual violence, and many others, help explain how cases might be marked as unfounded without being false.

How does this complicate false reporting data? The UCR counts all reports marks as “unfounded” as false, whether they are baseless (meaning the assault likely still occurred) or actually proven to be untrue. This suggests that even the low false reporting numbers the UCR reports may be partially inflated.

What Makes a Report “Suspicious”?

What causes a professional, friend, or family member to doubt someone’s experience of sexual assault? Research laid out in the Lonsway article indicates that the most common characteristics that lead to people to think a report is false are delayed reporting, alcohol or drug use during the event, inconsistencies or omissions in statements, and/or if the survivor did not physically resist “enough.” In actuality, most sexual assault cases include one or more of these factors. In short, the reports that draw the most scrutiny are often the reports that are most likely to be true.

Let’s break down these elements of suspicion. Few survivors report right away. Just some of the reasons for this that we have heard from survivors include feelings of guilt, anxiety, fear, or shock, among others. Reporting is not always safe or accessible to everyone. Inconsistencies in survivors’ statements are common indicators of trauma, and the brain’s struggle to encode and recall memories of traumatic events. Additionally, survivors may initially omit pieces of their story if they fear they may face shame, victim-blaming, or other consequences. It is not uncommon, for example, that a teen may not want to be punished for drinking under age, or an adult may not want to get in trouble for use of illicit substances. Finally, the majority of survivors report some level of “freezing” or tonic immobility during their assault, meaning that their body froze in order to survive and cope with what was happening. Freezing is a very common instinctual response, and often leads to shame and doubt from investigators and others who question why survivors did not “fight back.”

In reality, persons filing false reports are actually less likely to admit to potentially illegal, embarrassing, or questionable behavior, such as drug or alcohol use. False reports are more likely to sound like a “stereotypical rape” — usually involving a stranger, with a weapon, outside, where the survivor fought back, sustained injuries, and reported immediately. Additionally, more often than not false reports did not name a suspect, debunking the assumption that reports frequently made out of malice in an attempt to malign the offender. False reporting may address a need the individual is lacking elsewhere, such as emotional support systems, feeling cared for, access to mental health resources, and much more.

Why Is It Important to Believe Survivors?

Obviously, there are many reasons to believe and trust survivors. Research on sexual assault perpetrators shows that the majority of perpetrators are serial offenders, or someone who has committed more than one act of sexual assault. The less accountable our institutions hold offenders, the more opportunities they afford offenders to cause harm to others.

Beyond this, is the harm that invalidation and blame can cause people who survive sexual trauma. Treating survivors with suspicion serves only to re-victimize them. Persons that come forward seeking help following a sexual assault should be given assistance and support, not mistrust and skepticism. When survivors are met with support and validation, it can lessen the burden of their trauma and improve their ability to move forward and begin to heal.

Some initiatives, like Start By Believing, aim to educate people on the impact of believing survivors from the very beginning. To address these issues in our community, SARC currently offers a half day and full day of training to law enforcement agencies in Washington County. Our goal is that through ongoing training and feedback, the institutions in our community can make reporting a more accessible and safe option for survivors who choose to do so.

If you are interested in offering training for your workplace or school, please contact us at sarc[at]sarcoregon.org or 503-626-9100.

 

Check out the resources below that Frankie, our intern, used to write this blog, and ask your local law enforcement agencies if they have received training on sexual assault response.

Overview on false reporting from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center: https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_NSVRC_Overview_False-Reporting.pdf

More information on the difference between unfounded and baseless reports from End Violence Against Women International:

https://www.evawintl.org/Library/DocumentLibraryHandler.ashx?id=56

News Article from the United Kingdom on the realities of false reporting:

http://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049

More information on false reporting in Europe:

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1077801210387748?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori:rid:crossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%3dpubmed

Most information for this article are drawn from this excellent piece by Kim Lonsway:

Lonsway, K. (2010). Trying to Move the Elephant in the Living Room: Responding to the Challenge of False Rape Reports. Symposium on False Allegations of Rape, 1356-1371. Retrieved May 15, 2018.http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1077801210387750

Image by startbelieving.org.

Media Review: Anatomy of Doubt

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In 2016, before Tarana Burke’s Me Too movement gained national attention, popular podcast,  This American Life aired “Anatomy of Doubt.” In part of that podcast, they compared the experiences of two survivors of sexual assault. The first woman, Marie, was not believed by the people closest to her, law enforcement, and those in her community. The second woman, assaulted by the same offender in a different place, had a drastically different experience.

Three SARC volunteers, Jasmine, Anders, and Jessie, were interested in listening to the podcast, and answering some questions around its enduring significance. You can listen to the podcast here or read it here, and answer these same questions for yourself.

This podcast is from 2016 — how is it still relevant, or more relevant, today with the Me Too movement?

Jessie: As long as survivors have the courage to speak the truth about sexual violence, podcasts and articles like this will remains relevant and important.

Anders: I would say it is more relevant today, even.

Jasmine: Even though Marie’s experience is pretty different from the high profile cases we are hearing about in the media today (it was a stranger assault, it was reported right away, etc.), the way Marie was treated is how so many survivors associated with the #MeToo movement are also being treated.

The people closest to Marie don’t believe that she was assaulted, largely because they think that her trauma response is not “normal” behavior. They shun her and share their doubts with investigators. Now believing that Marie has lied to them, these investigators are “bullying” and “coercive” towards her, as described by another investigator who specializes in sex crimes. They go so far as to charge her for false reporting. And they stop investigating the assault.

By showing how Marie is mistreated after she publicly talks about the assault, this podcast addresses why many survivors of harassment and assault are hesitant to share their stories.

How did you hear biases or assumptions come up in the podcast? What impact did they have?

Anders: Marie’s friends thought it was weird that she would tell so many people about the assault. They thought it meant that she just wanted attention. Peggy thought Marie was covering up a sexual encounter turned bad.When an officer called Marie to come in, she asked if she was in trouble. He said in his experience, only guilty people/people hiding things ask that question. Just to name a few.

Jasmine: Sergeant Jeffrey Mason and Detective Jerry Rittgarn, the investigators for Marie’s case, incorrectly attribute significance to certain things that Marie says and does. For example, when Marie asks Mason if she is in trouble after he requests to speak with her at the police station, Mason begins to doubt Marie. He later says, “…in the 25 years in law enforcement, my experience has been people that ask that are usually in trouble.” By being overly reliant on his past experience, Mason does not consider Marie’s question in the context of her youth, trauma, and concern about being distrusted.

Jessie: The way we impress our personal biases onto others goes hand in hand with victim blaming. How would this investigation have gone if Peggy had not gone to the police to say she thought Marie was lying? Biases can alienate survivors, and create doubt.  In Marie’s story, doubt snowballed so out of control that it ended up poisoning the police’s perspective on the case. So much that they not only closed the case and ceased investigating a serial rapist, but also charged the victim with false reporting.

Why is it important for survivors to have support systems believe in them, or at least, suspend their disbelief?

Jessie: In order to come forward as a survivor, a lot of strength has to be harnessed. Strength like this can be nourished by loving and supportive people in our lives. Affirmative responses are a basic need.  As humans, we want to feel validated. Feeling blamed and ashamed of an incredibly traumatic event can make someone only feel worse.

Anders: Anytime someone is going through a traumatic experience it is only beneficial to have  friends and family support you. Marie could have had a completely different experience if she had a support system that believed in her.  In the case of Law Enforcement, we read about two officers going from treating Marie as a victim, to treating her as a criminal.

Jasmine: If survivors don’t have supportive friends and relatives, it can be difficult for them to cope with what has happened to them. This podcast also shows how disbelieving friends and relatives can amplify doubt in detectives’ minds and, thereby, compromise the investigation.

We all have the ability to foster safe and supportive environments for survivors to come forward. If you’ve experienced sexual assault and need support, you can always contact SARC’s 24-hour Support Line at 503-640-5311.

 

Image by Jennifer Heuer

Mental Health & Sexual Assault

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Mental health and sexual assault are closely intertwined. Many people believe an assault is the main cause of trauma for a survivor. However, the assault itself if often just part of the overall ongoing trauma survivors experience.

Sexual assault is not a just a traumatic event; it is a traumatic experience. Trauma is cumulative. Trauma stems from not just the assault, but the aftermath as well. Social and institutional responses to sexual assault can inform how people who are sexually assaulted approach their path to recovery. Sometimes, survivors have great support systems ready and willing to offer assistance. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

A study conducted by Michigan State University examined the various micro- and macrosystems that affect survivors of sexual assault. Cabral, Campbell, and Dworkin state that, “sexual assault does not occur in social and cultural isolation.” Victim-blaming, slut-shaming, disbelief, and personal attacks all await people in the aftermath of their assaults. The same article also suggests that for some survivors, diagnoses like PTSD can feel limiting, because sexual assault trauma is more nuanced and expansive that a diagnosis alone can encapsulate. Part of the reason why is because rape culture is so expansive, in our media, our justice systems, our social interactions. Rape culture perpetuates a cycle of trauma for survivors of sexual assault, beyond what science alone can explain.

Social and societal responses to sexual assault can be as traumatic as the initial assault. According to the Michigan State study, up to half of survivors “meet diagnostic criteria for depression,” and up to 40% “experience generalized anxiety.” For survivors who don’t have strong support systems or ways to cope with their assault, these issues can be exacerbated. They can be worsened further by problems including, “rape-prone culture, institutionalized racism, cultural differences in responding to rape, and acceptance of rape myths.” Although these problems present a bleak picture of survivors’ experiences, there are ways to positively impact someone’s path of healing.

While the study found that social macrosystems tend to perpetuate rape culture, microsystems do not necessarily do the same. Support and care from people closest to the survivor can have a significant impact on the distress levels of the survivor, such as friends, family, advocates, and more. Sexual assault response centers, mental health services, and trauma-informed hospital staff, including sexual assault nurse examiners (SANEs) can also reduce the level or likelihood of post-assault depression and anxiety.

Taking the blame from survivors is of the utmost importance for these small support systems, because at every step of a survivor’s process there is an opportunity for other people and systems to blame and shame them. To move past pervasive rape culture, we must start by being trauma-informed and less doubtful of survivors. If we do not, we abandon survivors, and leave them to face mental health needs like anxiety and depression, among other needs, by themselves. Surviving a traumatic assault is not a reason to be shunned; it is a reason to be embraced and supported on every level possible.

Campbell, R., Dworkin, E., & Cabral, G. (2009). An Ecological Model of the Impact of Sexual Assault On Women’s Mental Health. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 10(3), 225-246. doi:10.1177/1524838009334456

There’s no easy cure for mental health conditions, but stigma can be cured. Find your cure at CureStigma.org #CureStigma

Photo credit: Eden Baron

How to Keep Advocacy Work Sustainable

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Sexual violence takes a toll, on those who experience it and on those who work at agencies like SARC to respond to and prevent it. Read our volunteer, Jessie’s, article about how SARC staff and volunteers keep their work sustainable.

With any job, it is critical to practice healthy habits to ensure the work is tenable. When it comes to trauma-informed care for the advocates at organizations like SARC, sustainability can be difficult. When we talk about trauma-informed care and supporting survivors, we also need to talk about keeping this work viable for staff and volunteers. I reached out to current SARC employees and volunteers, as well as mental health professionals outside the agency who deal with trauma for their thoughts on sustainability and current coping skills.

An emphasis on staying centered and grounded in a stressful role was a recurring theme in people’s responses. Baili, a volunteer with SARC said, “I really rely on yoga to help me stay centered.” She also draws attention to the importance of checking out and silencing her phone at times. Disconnecting from the world can be a useful key to recovery from the stress involved in this work. Her last bit of encouragement is that she says volunteering with SARC has grown her support network and she has made connections to more people since starting here.

Lee Anne Dillon, a case manager who has been with SARC since 1994, lends some useful advice on staying grounded. She says, “Staying grounded is staying present with the client, and listening with the knowledge that I will be able to support them through whatever the story is.” It is so important to recognize that even if we cannot change what has happened, we can support people through their experiences and the sharing of their story. Balance is another key focus when it comes to keeping advocacy work sustainable. Finding a balance between what the client or survivor needs from you, versus what you realistically and practically have to give. Saving some of your resources for yourself is a necessary practice, as no one can pour from an empty cup.

Bri Ellingson, another case manager at SARC, states that her support system has also changed since working for SARC, and that it is important to surround yourself with people who support the work you do. She says, “When you’re fighting systems of oppression everyday, it’s important to have people around you who are also fighting the good fight, in whatever way the choose, or are at least open to the idea.”

This insight shows how crucial it is to hold space with people who recognize and appreciate that this work can be exhausting, and is also imperative. Surrounding yourself with other socially conscious people can help you feel like part of a community and less isolated. Sometimes it is easy to push down feelings of being overwhelmed and to “power through.” Having strong supervisors, and fellow coworkers or volunteers to check in with regularly helps counteract that impulse. SARC’s monthly volunteer meetings and weekly staff meetings provide structured space for that as well. Many people engaged in this work also have their own therapists and counselors they speak to outside of work.

Finally, finding things that fill your heart and soul with positivity and love will take you far. Take an overly indulgent bubble bath. Go on a soothing walk in the hills. Go to a chocolate tasting with a friend. Do some deep breathing for sixty seconds. Find things that help you take life one day at a time.

Photo credit: Eden Baron

Gardening Self Care Spotlight

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Self-care is an important part of everyone’s mental health, in whatever way feels best for you. In this month’s spotlight, read our volunteer, Eden’s, take on gardening as self-care.

My garden. A beautiful oasis of healing, which offers itself so freely. The place I go when I need to feel closer to myself. A living being that grows, nurtures, and tends. As willingly as I nurture it, I find it is the garden that’s really nurturing me.

Towards the end of winter, I found myself having anxiety which inhibited me from doing my self-care routine. I usually turn to yoga, cooking, friends, (and when Portland offers it, the sun), but nothing this time seemed to help. I felt uncomfortable with the idea that the routine of self-care I had fallen into was no longer my safety net, but the very thing that stimulated these bad feelings. I thought, “how should I be allowed to care for myself, when there are so many people who do not have the privilege to do the same?” Right as I found myself at the pit of these solemn feelings, I considered the winter. It was dark, and I had been removed from my garden for too long. I had spent the past weeks working diligently in school, driving home in rainy weather, and looking at screens much too often. I found myself separated from nature and the growth of new things.

As an empath, I feel deeply the events which damage the Earth, and the people who are affected by these tragedies. Perhaps what I needed was to put life back into the Earth, even if it meant planting a single flower. With winter at its end, I decided to do some planting in my yard. Though premature, as the last frost of the year had not passed, I needed to get my hands in the soil and come closer to nature, as it grounds, centers, and can help set perspective.

As I planted these flowers, I thought about the survivors from SARC I worked with that winter, as well as people around the world who had been affected by recent events. Though it was a small gesture, I felt that with the planting of those flowers, I put a little bit of beauty and hope back into the world. That for me, was the best self-care I had done. To know that it was not for me alone, but also for the Earth and the memory of the strong people I have the privilege to share it with.

This month, I will once again be expanding my garden with vegetables, fruits, and flowers. I love planting all veggies, but the most fun to harvest are carrots, potatoes, and tomatoes. The exuberance of flowers popping up from the ground always brings me joy and gives me courage to express myself. One thing I love most about gardening is seeing the process of seed to harvest. A cycle that has inspired me to project a similar pattern in my own life. To be open to change, seeing my goals all the way through, and taking the time for self-reflection. Finding that strength in cultivating myself to becoming closer to who I am, and in doing so, being able to advocate for others so they can do the same.

Spring is the season of rebirth. What I have learned from gardening is to take it as an opportunity to find what it is that makes me grow. I also learned through this experience that your self-care routine can change, and that is okay. We are all capable of allowing ourselves to be a seed, while also being the water to help ourselves, or someone else, grow. Finding the courage to dig our hands deep into our personal soil, and acknowledge our roots of strength to help us overcome our obstacles. This season, I encourage you to plant something. Be it a flower, veggie, fruit, or herb. You may be surprised to find what grows.

Photo credit: Eden Baron

Survivors Reclaim // Reclama

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In celebration of this year’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), SARC presents “Reclaim//Reclama”, a publication highlighting the stories and artwork of survivors from all walks of life throughout the state of Oregon.

We have noticed over the years, that there are many voices and experiences that often go unrepresented during local SAAM efforts. This publication is an attempt to create an opportunity for those folks whose experiences go unrecognized to reclaim this space.

We’re honored that these artists chose to collaborate with us on this magazine and we are making it available for sale to help support the artists and SARC.

On Saturday, April 28th, there will be an event at Solace & Fine Espresso, featuring appearances by artists who contributed to this project. Join us, in community, to celebrate the beautiful work that made this project possible. Event details are on our Facebook page.

“Reclaim//Reclama” will be available for purchase at the event. Proceeds will go towards thanking the artists for their participation as well as support of SARC. If you would like to purchase a zine you can do so via the ‘Buy Now’ button below. If you are interested in ordering a larger quantity or would like to help with the sale of this project, please message us directly at info[at]sarcoregon.org. If cost is a barrier but you would still like to support artists and SARC please contact us directly at the same email address.

Reclaim_coverReclaim // Reclama

A collaboration with local artists showcasing visual art and the written word. Survivors supporting survivors through this collection of culturally diverse work. We have kept pieces in the language they were originally written in. We did not want any artists’ messages to get lost in translation. We hope this choice preserves the artists’ intention, culture, and artistic expression.

-24 pages
-printed on glossy presentation paper
-perfect binding
-$2 mailing charge will be added


Pay what you can



Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Being More Than Just “Aware”

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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Read below for our volunteer, Jessie’s, take on how to be more than just aware!

 

“For those working on a cause they care about, the first instinct is often to make sure that as many people as possible are aware of the problem. When we care about an issue or a cause, it’s natural to want others to care as much as we do.”  -Stop Raising Awareness Already, Christiano & Neimand

 

People may confuse being knowledgeable about a health issue, like the ongoing epidemic of sexual violence, with taking action to address it. While awareness is a great first step, there should be a couple steps after it as well.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month should go hand-in-hand with a call to action. Part of our response to sexual assault should be finding ways to help. Awareness has the potential to break ground for productivity, teamwork, and more, but it does not do any of the heavy-lifting itself.

Let’s break down some language. Self-awareness is when you understand how your behavior affects and impacts other people. Self-regulation is making small or large adjustments to your behavior to change or alter the situation as a whole.

For example, self-awareness might look like someone acknowledging that slut-shaming women contributes to rape culture. The next step towards self-regulation could be that person actively interrupting slut-shaming when they hear it in their friend groups, or stopping themselves when they are tempted to slut-shame other people.

 

New rules for awareness? Learn, teach, and react.

 

Research has found that when people are simply given information, they are unlikely to change their beliefs or behavior. As a community, we must think actively about how to transition from awareness to regulation and change. One of the simplest things we can do to move forward from just awareness, is to educate. It is not enough to recognize that sexual assault happens far too frequently in our communities. By educating others and ourselves on topics like consent, privilege, rape culture, oppression, and bias, we can help our community understand what the root causes of sexual violence are, and take steps towards prevention.

As an organization built from advocates, SARC is seeking to inspire change in the public eye and community to move past just raising awareness.

Sexual assault is a terrible violation that affects many more people than just survivors. The entire system, our schools, our government, our entertainment, and more, is impacted by sexual violence. By making small changes in our personal lives and ourselves, we can change the way our culture responds to sexual assault moving forward.

Feeling Overwhelmed by the Media?

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Read SARC Volunteer Coordinator, Morgan Evans, talk about how to care for ourselves in an age of endless media below!

 

Take a moment to really feel your feelings. Literally. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What is the media bringing up for me?” Does reading or participating in these cycles make you anxious? Do you feel overwhelmed, triggered, or angry? Is it empowering to contribute to these newsfeeds or comment strings? Exhausting?

All of these (and many more) are normal reactions to the increase in disclosures of sexual assault we are seeing in the media.

Whether we are survivors ourselves, support people for others, allies, generally ignorant to the topic of sexual violence, or activists for social change- incessant media coverage of sexual violence impacts our mental health and general wellbeing.

We can counter any effects of vicarious trauma by consciously acknowledging our thoughts and bodies and practicing something called self care.

Self care awards us the space and mental energy to react to stress in an intentional way. Self care is a process. It is hard to start doing, it is ongoing, and sometimes one method does not work and we have to try something else! Here are some ways you can start this practice today:

Feel free to take a break

It is easy to put pressure on ourselves and others to research, educate, or act immediately in response to the stories we are seeing lately. During this time, it is important to remember that we are entitled to take a break.

How does it feel to read that third news article, comment on that thread, or watch two hours of media coverage on the same topic? Is it beneficial to my mental health to participate in this hashtag at this time? Some days, the answer is no.

There should be no shame in taking a timeout, unfollowing that page on social media, or telling someone, “Actually, I am really not interested in talking about that right now. Can we talk about something else?” This can look like setting specific time limits on how long you want to spend on these topics. It could be disconnecting all together. And it can change day to day!

It is important to be intentional and do what feels right for us at the time. By doing so, we allow ourselves the space to return to what we care about in an intentional way.

 

Pay attention to our bodies

It is really easy to ignore the things our bodies are telling us or asking from us. Our physical and mental health are fully intertwined. Taking a moment to pay attention to how they interact can have major positive effects on our mood. Some things (like exercise, drinking more water, and consciously breathing) can help to physically flush stress hormones from our bodies quicker.

Self care does not have to be elaborate or expensive. It can be as simple as taking two minutes to consciously breathe. Get up and take a five-minute walk. Eat or drink something you really enjoy, slowly. Spend time physically close to a person or animal you care about. By doing activities that center around physicality and our senses, we can help to ground ourselves back in our body, which can help reset our thoughts.

Find your good

What fills you up? What brings you joy? During times of high stress or immediacy these are some of the first things we tend to neglect. It is especially important to designate mental energy and time to the things that bring happiness and meaning to our lives.

This could be music, art, community, sport, or nature. This could mean creating room on your phone or computer to store pictures you’ve taken during good times or screenshots from conversations with people you care about. Sometimes it is staying in bed all day and binge watching a show you really enjoy. Sometimes it is completely disconnecting from technology and spending time alone outside. You can pay gratitude to the good things that already exist in your life, or set reasonable goals for you to give back to yourself in a meaningful way. Give yourself space to play, joke, laugh, enjoy the things around you. We cannot get rid of the ugly or bad that exists in the world without acknowledging what is good.

 

No matter your personal, political, or professional connection to the topic of sexual violence, it is important to recognize the very real impact there is from hearing and talking about this subject so often. It is important to be kind and compassionate to ourselves and how we react to this news. We cannot feel guilty for prioritizing our own health and wellbeing.

I leave you with these words from Black Lives Matter cofounder Alicia Garza on staying centered in the face of adversity–

“My emotional and mental well being depends on my commitment to what I care for most. It depends on being resilient, which is not the same as being perfect. It depends on being durable, which is not the same as infallible. And when I move towards the things I care most about, I am the most free I have ever been. Wounds, cuts, scars and all.”

 

To get in touch with SARC’s services, seek support, or ask questions, contact SARC’s 24-hour Support Line: 503-640-5311.

Responding to #MeToo and More

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In a time when our newsfeeds are overflowing with disclosures from sexual assault survivors, articles about the social and political consequences for high profile perpetrators, and endless debates over what accountability should look and sound like, it is natural to feel overwhelmed.

We are swimming, sometimes drowning, in questions. “How do we stop sexual assault?” “How come it has taken this long for people in power to be called out?” “How do I heal?” “What do we do with offenders?” “How do I escape, when it feels like sexual violence is everywhere?” “Who can I trust?”

As an agency, SARC wants to directly address all that is occurring in Hollywood, state and federal politics, and in our own communities. But while this storm of media attention has the potential to be a pivotal moment in changing how our culture views and addresses sexual violence, SARC’s response has remained the same:

If you have experienced sexual violence and are looking for some kind of support, SARC is here for you.

Whether something happened three hours ago or thirty years ago, SARC is here for you.

Whether you know exactly what you want or you have no idea where to begin, SARC is here for you.

For anybody with any gender identity, race, documentation status, sexual orientation, occupation, spirituality, and any other identities that make up a human being, SARC is here for you.

Whether you want to tell us what happened or you want to keep that to yourself, SARC is here for you.

For people struggling with how to support a friend or family member who has experienced sexual violence, SARC is here for you.

To people who may be grappling with the multitudes of denials that have come from these disclosures, and the small number of admissions, we want to recognize how painful and messy it is to hear perpetrators try to lie or apologize their way out of accountability. Hearing offenders admit their wrongdoing can have value and be healing for some people, and SARC respects the power that can give survivors. We would be ignorant to not also recognize critically that it is only under the most extreme social and political pressure that these few public admissions are coming to light – when entire careers, financial investments, and crucial elections are on the line.

The reality of how commonplace acts of sexual violence are is as true today as it was 40 years ago when SARC first started, as it was 400 years ago. The consequences these high profile perpetrators are facing represent a step forward in cultural accountability, but this momentum needs to carry us further. As a culture, we can’t only pay attention to an offender after more than 50, more than 70, more than 100 survivors come forward. We can’t come out against sexual assault but not call out “locker room talk” at our jobs, schools, and in our personal lives.

To those in positions of power, especially white men, who pledge to be more accountable in their personal and professional lives, and who recognize how they have contributed to and enabled sexual violence, we say: thank you, more please. Step up through ongoing actions, beyond words alone. Take the pressure of voicing these issues off of those who experience sexual violence most often, like women, trans women, women of color, LGBTQ people, women in poverty, and more. For too long, the burden of combating sexual violence has fallen to those who have experienced it firsthand. Help us change that.

SARC is, as always, in awe of the resilience and strength of the survivors out there. The people we work with, and the people we don’t. The people who are sharing their stories, and those who are not. Everyday may not be perfect, you may not always feel the magnitude of your strength, and you may not always feel okay. Through all of that, you are not alone. Everyday, especially the tough days, SARC is here for you.

 

To get in touch with SARC’s services, seek support, or ask questions, contact SARC’s 24-hour Support Line: 503-640-5311.